Skip to main content

Announcing PLSQL.js, a Javascript Framework Hiding Squiggles Behind PL/SQL APIs

[April Fools Joke]

 Today, the Oracle Database Developer Advocates team announces the release of PLSQL.js, a PL/SQL framework for JavaScript developers, delivering all the power and flexibility of JavaScript though simple, declarative APIs written in the best database programming language in the world.

 “The first key advantage to PLSQL.js is that you don’t have to write those little squiggle thingies,” notes Steven Feuerstein, well-known author and trainer on Oracle PL/SQL, who designed the bulk of PLSQL.js. “We really didn’t see the point. Why not use regular English words and the kind of punctuation everybody was already used to, like underscores and dots? Why do we always have to change things?”

 Oracle’s Chief Healthification Officer, Jean Frutesandveggies, adds that PLSQL.js is also an attempt to help young application developers deal with a growing epidemic of Javascript Fatigue.

 "While PLSQL.js appears to be yet-another-framework that just compounds the problem," explains Feuerstein, "it's really not. PLSQL.js is, in fact, the JS framework to end all JS frameworks. Definitively. Until version 2 comes out, that is, which will be a complete rewrite. Maybe using TypeScript."

 “Writing code,” points out Frutesandveggies, “is very hard and stressful work. It doesn’t help to write in a language like JavaScript, in which developers are expected to constantly change their frameworks, tools, and general outlook on life. The bottom line? When you have to React to Yeoman who Plop and Babel from an overly Angular point of view, well, you are bound to Relay into Motorcycle trouble. Sure, you can take aspirin for the ensuing headache, but we recommend, instead, that you simply switch once and for all to PLSQL.js.”

 PLSQL.js will be released as open source under the MYOB (Mind Your Own Business) license on GritHub. Users will be allowed to pull but not push, and never commit, to ensure that the framework remains stable and free of squiggles.

Comments

  1. MarcusApril 1, 2016 at 5:08 AM

    That's what I've been waiting for. One language to rule them all :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Steven FeuersteinApril 1, 2016 at 5:12 AM

    Then your wish has finally come true. That wish for me came true in 1995, when I published my first book on PL/SQL. From that point on, one language ruled the world - if you define the world as the portion of it with which I intersected. It's all a matter of scope and relativity. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. سليم هليّÙ„April 1, 2016 at 10:50 AM

    Lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. KarenApril 1, 2016 at 7:01 PM

    Love it :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. JaredPrebApril 3, 2016 at 3:43 AM

    where is it?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Steven FeuersteinApril 3, 2016 at 5:03 AM

    Hmmm. Well, I do offer a link to the PLSQL.js repo, but it is empty. That's because....this is an April Fool's joke!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AdelzApril 6, 2016 at 1:54 AM

    Jean Frutesandveggies... hahaha well done

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousSeptember 21, 2017 at 2:18 AM

    Why a joke Steve? :)
    http://www.oracle.com/technetwork/database/database-technologies/scripting-languages/node_js/index.html

    ReplyDelete
  9. xucaenDecember 19, 2017 at 3:10 PM

    The link to the plsql.js is empty. Was this project scrapped or did it move?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steven FeuersteinDecember 19, 2017 at 4:24 PM

      Sorry we are working hard resurrecting that link using Flashback Query. :-)

      Delete
  10. xucaenDecember 19, 2017 at 3:16 PM

    son of b*****. april fools. You got me. :/ :p

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why DBMS_OUTPUT.PUT_LINE should not be in your application code

A database developer recently came across my  Bulletproof PL/SQL  presentation, which includes this slide. That first item in the list caught his attention: Never put calls to DBMS_OUTPUT.PUT_LINE in your application code. So he sent me an email asking why I would say that. Well, I suppose that is the problem with publishing slide decks. All the explanatory verbiage is missing. I suppose maybe I should do a video. :-) But in the meantime, allow me to explain. First, what does DBMS_OUTPUT.PUT_LINE do? It writes text out to a buffer, and when your current PL/SQL block terminates, the buffer is displayed on your screen. [Note: there can be more to it than that. For example, you could in your own code call DBMS_OUTPUT.GET_LINE(S) to get the contents of the buffer and do something with it, but I will keep things simple right now.] Second, if I am telling you not to use this built-in, how could text from your program be displayed on your screen? Not without a lot o...
4 comments
Read more

How to Pick the Limit for BULK COLLECT

This question rolled into my In Box today: In the case of using the LIMIT clause of BULK COLLECT, how do we decide what value to use for the limit? First I give the quick answer, then I provide support for that answer Quick Answer Start with 100. That's the default (and only) setting for cursor FOR loop optimizations. It offers a sweet spot of improved performance over row-by-row and not-too-much PGA memory consumption. Test to see if that's fast enough (likely will be for many cases). If not, try higher values until you reach the performance level you need - and you are not consuming too much PGA memory.  Don't hard-code the limit value: make it a parameter to your subprogram or a constant in a package specification. Don't put anything in the collection you don't need. [from Giulio Dottorini] Remember: each session that runs this code will use that amount of memory. Background When you use BULK COLLECT, you retrieve more than row with each fetch, ...
4 comments
Read more

Table Functions, Part 1: Introduction and Exploration

Please do feel encouraged to read this and my other posts on table functions, but you will learn much more about table functions by taking my Get Started with PL/SQL Table Functions class at the Oracle Dev Gym. Videos, tutorials and quizzes - then print a certificate when you are done! Table functions - functions that can be called in the FROM clause of a query from inside the TABLE operator - are fascinating and incredibly helpful constructs. So I've decided to write a series of blog posts on them: how to build them, how to use them, issues you might run into. Of course, I am not the first to do so. I encourage to check out the  documentation , as well as excellent posts from Adrian Billington (search for "table functions") and Tim Hall . Adrian and Tim mostly focus on pipelined table functions, a specialized variant of table functions designed to improve performance and reduce PGA consumption. I will take a look at pipelined table functions in the latter part...
31 comments
Read more