Wednesday, April 1, 2015

PL/SQL Now Available for Microsoft Excel, MongoDB, Cassandra and VoltDB!

In a surprise announcement today [April Fool's Day, I now point out on 2 April], Oracle Corporation announced that the PL/SQL language, its (formerly) proprietary database programming language, would now be available as open source on Github.

Simultaneously, Oracle Corporation announced that PL/SQL would now compile and run on MongoDB, Cassandra, VoltDB (as well as the other 256 database products Michael Stonebreaker has helped establish over the last several decades) and, in recognition of the primacy of business analysts the world over, Microsoft Excel.

Bryn Llewellyn, Senior Distracted PL/SQL Product Manager, could not suppress his excitement over these developments: "For years, I've had to content myself with answering questions just from Oracle technologists. Now I can spend all day and all night long answering questions from another 10,000,000 developers. Thanks, Oracle, for making my day."

Steven Feuerstein, TMWKOP (The Man Who Knows Only PL/SQL), was unaccountably glum. He told the San Francisco Chronicle in an interview for this breaking story that "I was perfectly happy with the status quo. We had our tight little community, everyone knew who I was. I felt special. Now?  Now we're just one more open source project that everyone can play with and criticize. What's so great about that?"

For more information, visit www.oracle.com/plsql.

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4 comments:

  1. 1st of April :-)? But still I enjoy every Post of You! VERY HELPFULL 4 A YOUNG PROFESSIONAL like me!! Best regards from Germany
    Jonas

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  2. I have been informed by Oracle Legal that I am not permitted to comment on this news until after 1 April.

    :-)

    Glad you enjoyed it!

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  3. And now I can confess to all: this was an April Fool's prank. PL/SQL has not been open sourced. It is still proprietary to Oracle Corporation (though both DB2 and PostgresSQL offer limited support for compilation and execution of PL/SQL code against those databases) and there are no plans - I repeat, NO PLANS - to support PL/SQL on Microsoft Excel.

    :-)

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  4. I read your post on Twitter, but did not notice that date of publication. Nice!!

    ReplyDelete