A new name - and amazing new future - for PL/SQL

Note: You might think that this was published on April 2nd, but in fact it was published on April 1st.

PL/SQL, the database programming language from Oracle, introduced in 1991 and used by millions over the years to implement data APIs and business logic in mission critical applications from which billions of humans benefit daily, is undergoing a radical transformation in order to stay relevant for, and meta-cool to, future generations of developers.

After a careful examination of all modern programming languages and the definitive StackOverflow developer surveys, the PL/SQL development team implemented a super-secret plan (yes, that’s correct, even the Distinguished Product Manager for PL/SQL, Bryn Llewellyn, is unaware of what you are about to read. So don’t bother him about it, OK?).

I am, therefore, inordinately pleased and honored to be the first to announce the following changes for PL/SQL in Oracle Database 20c:

1. PL/SQL will now be a case-insensitive language. Sort of.
2. Only lower-case letters will be supported.
3. All keywords will now be encased within squiggly brackets. 
4. The name of the language will change to {plsql}. 
5. SQL statements are replaced by “yo, oracle!” commands.
6. All procedures and functions are implemented as recursive callback functions executed asynchronously across all Oracle Database instances in all parallel universes available through the Oracle Quantum Universe Cloud Service.

Let’s take a look at how {plsql} differs from PL/SQL.

Here’s “Hello World” in PL/SQL 18c:

BEGIN
   DBMS_OUTPUT.PUT_LINE (‘Hello World’);
EXCEPTION 
   WHEN OTHERS 
   THEN
      NULL;
END;
/

And now in {plsql}:

{begin}
    {'Hello {dbms_output(.)put_line} World’)(call)(home)(et);
    {wotn};
{end};
/

And you won’t recognize it, but you sure will be impressed by what’s happened to “select from dual”.

DECLARE
   l_dummy sys.dual.dummy%TYPE;
BEGIN
   SELECT dummy
     INTO l_dummy
     FROM sys.dual;
END;
/

And now in {plsql}:

{declare}
   l_dummy {yooracle}”What’s the type of dummy in dual?”;
{begin}
   {yooracle}”What’s the value of dummy in dual?”:l_dummy;
{end};
/

For really complicated SQL statements, you might want to switch to the even more flexible and powerful MLC (“machine learning cloud”) mode, demonstrated so ably below:

{begin}
   {ihaveadream}”What’s the running total for all orders placed 
                last month by customers located within a kilometer 
                of their parents?”
   => {oraclevrconsole};
{end};
/

I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on (Seriously, I could. The Oracle Quantum Universe Cloud Service, while not available in April 2018,  is up and running in 2020. I am using it to spray tachyons backwards and forwards through time, thereby allowing  me to sign up for as many Oracle Public Cloud trials as I want and write this mind-boggling post).

I could even show you an example of a recursive callback function executed asynchronously across all Oracle Database instances in all parallel universes.

But I won’t. I like you too much.

2018 marks the 37th year I am have working with PL/SQL I am proud of the many achievements of Oracle Database developers over those years. And today, on April 1, 2018, I am confident of a “squiggly bright” future for {plsql} over the next 37 years.

Join me for the journey!